5 Tips for Having Hard Conversations with Clients

Diligent and detail focused people can be drawn to the bookkeeping profession. Often missed is that these folks are also service-oriented.

True, bookkeepers do not provide care in the same vein as nurses, mental health counselors, or social workers. But they want to be helpful, say “yes,” be of service, provide answers, and get things right. They are entrusted with a private and emotionally charged part of people’s lives: their money. This emotional charge comes out in daily interactions with clients — not every day, and not all clients, but it is a very real part of the client care landscape. 

As humans, it is natural to make mistakes and errors in this work. It’s unavoidable. Despite the best systems, checklists, processes, and care, mistakes can still occur. The skills of the bookkeeper go beyond proficiency with software, managing deadlines, recording transactions, and providing reports. The people part of the job should not be downplayed. The successful bookkeeper must have the skills to manage their client relationships. They also need the facility to take good care of themselves through their own errors and tough conversations.

I’ve been in the self-employed, small business money game for twenty years. In that time, I’ve made plenty of errors and mistakes, been up against ethical dilemmas, been in over my head, and uncovered events that require uncomfortable conversations. And I’ve worked with a wide range of client personalities. I’m also a self-aware, personal-growth-oriented, “face life head on” individual. So, I do have some tips and mindsets for navigating these situations, whether client-facing or internal.

Here are five tips for dealing with your own errors and/or navigating tricky client interactions:

1.  Give it time. No, I’m not advocating for avoiding or procrastinating during tough  situations. But you can create space to not be prematurely reactive. When you make an error, it’s natural to want to “fix it now” and make the uncomfortable situation go away.  But giving it time can help both your mind and body calm down. This calmer space puts you in a better problem-solving mode. You can take a few deep breaths, step away from the desk, take time making a cup of tea,  walk around the block, or literally sleep on it for a night. Whatever it takes to get out of reactive mode and face the issue with a calmer demeanor is time well spent. 
2.  Have real conversations. Get back to the basics of human interaction. Pick up the phone to have a real conversation. We all know how easy it is to misinterpret texts and comments — and you don’t want to add misunderstanding to an already sensitive situation. Drafting an email or writing down some notes first may help you organize your thoughts. When speaking to the client, use your actual voice and give the other person the respect of hearing their voice. Expose the situation to the fuller experience of human communication. Tone of voice, pauses, questions, apologies, suggestions, and solutions all have the chance to come across with more sincerity in a real conversation.
3.  Zoom Out. When you find an error, put it in context. How much data, transactions and reporting do you do in your workweek? And how much of this is spot-on, error free, and value adding? How soon was the error uncovered? Errors typically show up against a backdrop of otherwise accurate and correct work. Think of it this way — if you weren’t doing most things correctly, then the mistake wouldn’t have even popped out. It’s an interesting dance between taking responsibility for mistakes and giving yourself a break for just being human. As the Beastie Boys so eloquently remind us, “As long as I learn, I will make mistakes.” 
4.  Do something actionable. After getting into problem solving mode, doing something actionable will help fix things and can make you feel much better. You can’t go backwards in time and make the uncomfortable situation go away. But you can learn from it. What processes can prevent this from happening in the future? Are you regularly reviewing your own work to uncover errors on a proactive basis? How about your human resources — do you have trusted professional peers in your network to turn to for implementing best practices and talking though problem solving? 
5.  How you handle mistakes builds trust. I’m not a big fan of tired quotes and worn out clichés.  But the old adage of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” comes to mind. Consider looking at how you handle errors and tricky client moments as an opportunity to build trust and strengthen the relationship. Clear, honest communication builds a pattern of transparency. People are left knowing that issues will be brought to light and managed in a mature and solutions-oriented manner. This is reassuring. It can even make clients feel safer with their financial vulnerabilities knowing you’re only human too.

I hope these tips come in handy next time you’re faced with fessing up to an error or navigating a charged client interaction. Take good care of yourselves!